The Untypical Date

The rules of dating are easy right? Boy likes girl, girl likes boy, and boy gets up enough courage to ask girl out, chickens out a couple times, then some how squeaks out the question, "So um, you like movies?" And the girl answers, " Umm yea I think everyone does." Boy tries to decipher the "hidden" meaning behind this when really the girl is just thinking, Aw maybe he’s not stable! Should I speak slowly for him? Then of course the girl thinks this is "adorable" a word a boy NEVER wants to hear from a girl. What boy in his right mind wants to be adorable? But he goes along with it because he knows what is coming next the smile and the " Umm yea I would love to go to the movies So the boy and girl go on this so called " date" to the movies to see a movie that probably only the girl is interested in. So your in line and the boy looks at the girl and says, "Wow, you look really pretty tonight" (thinking this will make her night and win her over completely), but she says, " Really? Because I feel so yuck right now." Well that poor` boy, that defenseless boy is left wondering, "What? You do? What does that mean? Does she really feel ugly or is this a trick, is her dad hiding somewhere, will he jump me if I tell her she looks good in that shirt?" So they buy their tickets and walk inside, the boy thinking no girl eats in front of guys asks the fatal question of " Would you like anything for the concessions stand?" And that dumb poor boy gets the only girl that can win a pie-eating contest in 10 seconds flat. " Well since you asked, I would love some cotton candy, and some chocolate maybe with some crunchy things in it, and a slurpy but not too cold because I’ll get a brain freeze, oh and a diet coke." And of course how can the stunned boy doing anything but nod his head and say, " Yea sure anything you want."

So he waits and gets up there and there’s no cotton candy but there is cotton candy flavored candy and no diet coke but diet Pepsi and this of course means nothing to the guy its basically the same thing … right? So he goes to find his date, this is a mission that no boy can come back alive from. Everyone looks the same, he can’t remember what she is wearing, and he is getting the evil eye from the couple he is standing in front of. Then like a life vest she stands up and waves him over. Smiling, feeling so proud he got this food for her he hands her the food. What happens next is something that shouldn’t but does shock him. She says, " Aw this looks so good but I ate a tic tac and I’m so full but thanks, it’s the thought that counts." The cloud of disbelief sets in around the boy and takes his seat and waits for the movie to begin. But he hears something not even ten minutes into the movie. It’s her! She is talking to him without him even knowing. He doesn’t even have to slightest notion about what she could be saying so he just nods his head. These thoughts run through his head "what is she saying? Am I supposed to read her lips? Its dark how in the world could I do that? What is that in her teeth." He can’t believe the lungs on this girl, she must be a world champion talker; they have to give award for this kind of lung capacity. And all too quickly the movie ends, and she is still talking about the movie, and he realizes he has no idea what he even seen. The car ride is unbelievable, the talking is still coming, what could there be left to talk about? Finally he pulls up to her house, and he delivers the universal line that everyone should know as this is NOT working, " Well, so and so, I had a really great time tonight. I’ll call you to do it again sometime." As he drives away, the only thing he can remember is never to ask a girl if she likes a movie again.

-Hannah Smith